Life is grand

I woke early this morning to the subtle sound of light footsteps. In a foggy stupor, I raise to my feet to see that you stand before me. For a second I question myself if I am only dreaming, then reality sinks it's teeth into my jugular and makes me see that you are real. You sleep next to me every night. I wake up every morning and travel the Alabama foothills; curved and winding roads, I trail these mountain passes, and sometimes you skip your afternoon classes, and we learn more about each other than we ever knew.

Is this true love? Can a young man of my age truly know what it is to feel this?

After school I clock in as a server at Ruby Tuesday, which by the way I am not so bad at. We get by just fine here on minimum wage, this 99 percent, this...whatever you want to call it. All I worry about is what is the day going to bring. Homework, love, waiting tables, doctor visits and thinking and worrying about the future.

NA BA

am i completely finished feeling sorry for myself?
am i ready, now, to be truthful and honest?
with myself, these people surrounding us;
is it just me or is this a disguised version of trust?
youre my wife. youre my life

Disbelief is learning to Believe

walking above myself, is it day or night I cant tell
i promise i am not angry; at you or myself
my thoughts, they stray like a wild animal, sometimes to the nearest oasis
i wonder if i will fathom the reason of your presence
did you hit your head too hard on the dash my dear?
or is it just the ringing inside your ear?
either way, i dont mind if i am rocking back and forth within padded 4 walls
twisting hair in my fingertip as i mutter mere mumbles
just please promise me to discontinue the stories of your past
at least long enough for me to get proper transportation with a profession
so we can do it all together
relapse is a pothole on the road of recovery

we will survive

we will strive

you are the only reason i open my eyes in the morning, take a breath and thank the earth
for all that has been provided for me
so much alike in so many aspects, yet from two completely different worlds
hers, a land of independence, self sustaining utopia of living off the land and finding the meaning within
the beauty of the simplest things are the things I envy
and then you have me, a man of logic, of science, who is slowly beginning to learn that there is more to life than what we see, an entire universe more, a universe within our own
so many possibilities so many options, all playing out at once only not on the same screen
the sky within her eyes, the earth within mine
living in this world of glass, only waiting to shatter
we all live on a timebomb, and when it explodes, youre the only one i want by my side

The earth in my eyes; the sky in yours

Car crash; shattered glass. These days I haven't been sleeping; only watching you breathe. Tell me what I'm supposed to do when you leave the room? This is me eating my own words, swallow my pride can you give me back to me please? January, brings February, along with every day that I get to spend with you. We have been inseparable, and when I'm not with you i don't feel myself. You've stolen something from me long ago I thought was lost; I need you I want you I crave you...we drive quickly through these Alabama foothills, seeking death; only to find life. The earth in my eyes, the sky in yours...

last best hope

i cant understand or comprehend the events, the twists and turns bringing us to something from friends,
ill fight this, this contagious sickness, this epidemic of massive addictions this affliction effecting decisions
inspiration, motivation, these things come so naturally almost out of reflex or instinct


SHE RUINED EVERYTHING FUCK HER IM DRUNK

addicted to failure

for the past week, i have fallen off of the planet. i am in complete misery although the sex has been amazing. sex, drugs, rock and roll. yeah except i burned through money (900)bucks in the process...i feel dead. for the past week ive just been a trainwreck, right now i am probably a tower falling.

Too little; Too late

So difficult to see the shimmer of light, sliver of hope at the end of this tunnel
even if I squint my eyes until I went blind, I don't believe I would ever find
these days I feel so isolated, miserable and alone
Sticks and stones will break my bones; but your words will murder me
I was only a conscience that was half-asleep, and I am only now learning to dream

Oh please, baby, desire me
Oh, there must be a method to the madness
a reason for all your tears and sadness
there's a voice to this chaos, and it's wearing thin
the change of seasons, making you want to give in


It's so hard to believe, that you would ever even notice me
even if God himself had told me, I still don't think I would see
after time it's apparent that photographs will fade along with the memories
and when it's done, that will be all I have left of what wasn't taken by this thief ( called father time)
this is our life, and it is ending one minute at a time
I want to know what it feels to truly be alive
to touch, to feel, to taste, to see
your love, is free, to take, for me

When I was young everything seemed so easy
now that I'm older I can truly see that things worth having never come easily
I wish, I could go back, knowing what I know now
If I could, a week from now, we'd be reading our vows.
--You take- everything that you say away
every word that doesn't stick or stay, and you just blame it on fate
but we both know, when it is time to go - will be the saddest day
and now I'm just laying on my couch, in my pajamas, half stoned, listening to the radio...